Reading my pre-Thailand post brought back some of the feelings I completely forgot I had before coming on this trip. I remember being in such a panic. I had no idea what I was doing and I was the farthest thing from being prepared. I was worried about things like what to pack, getting sick on the airplane, something happening to my passport, working in a school with students who speak mainly a different language, and more. Pretty much any worry possible, I had it. The thing that amazes me is how quickly those worries faded. Once arriving in Thailand I felt completely different. I didn't know I could fall in love so quickly with a country other than my own, but that's exactly what Thailand did to me. The country itself changed my attitude to pure happiness while I was there. It's hard not be happy when surrounded by breathtaking scenery, beautiful temples, and genuinely kind and happy people. It truly was an adventure of a lifetime.
This trip has changed me in numerous ways. It has taught me to be more vulnerable. Putting so much emotion and energy into working with the kids, knowing we would have to leave, is a challenging thing to do. No one likes to get attached if it just ends in separation. These kids taught me that opening up like that, even if it's just going to result in pain or sadness, is good. In fact, it's life-changing--life-changing to be able to form beautiful bonds with people despite a language barrier. I hung out with a younger girl most of the time. She spoke very very little English, yet I felt this strong bond with her. She was so sweet and caring. Although we couldn't talk much, I felt comfort always having her there to hold my hand and show me where to go--cause I never actually knew what was going on. I enjoyed seeing her face light up with a smile whenever she saw me and having mine do the same when I saw her. I think that's one of the hardest parts about Thailand--leaving so many wonderful places and people behind.
It has also taught me that every situation has multiple perspectives and we need to consider this before making judgments and declaring that our view is the right one. To clarify, one thing that really has stuck with me is something our tour guide Lek said about elephant camps. He said that he didn't understand Westerners obsession with going to an elephant camp that does not put baskets on the elephants back (which can hurt their spines) and does not use bullhooks because we ride horses with saddles all the time and even whip them. I'm not saying that I agree with the mistreatment of elephants, but I just found it so interesting how blind we can be to problems in our own country but be so fast to point them out in others. This tiny conversation has affected me so much, making me want to look at all perspectives instead of automatically judging a situation.
After visiting Thailand, I would definitely say I got the travel bug (as Letitia would say). I want to see so much more of the world and thank Thailand for giving me this desire to explore. I'll miss it there so much, along with being with everyone in our group every day (it's already weird not seeing everyone).
It's been real, Thailand. Hope to see you again soon.
Emily
p.s. Sa'nuk and don't eat the salad.
