I landed in the United States, in Minnesota, over a week ago. Through a silent airport, and with a quite exhausted body, I trudged to baggage claim. There I stood, waiting to receive my bags, texting my father and dreaming of my bed.
Standing outside the baggage claim doors, in the bitter Minnesota chill, I watched as my father's gun metal grey Mustang rounded the corner. A familiar sight, I felt incredible comfort. I was safe. I was home.
Entering Thailand and exiting Thailand meant taking two insanely long trips. Coming to Thailand, I was simply excited for the journey-- flying in a plane was something important; worth absorbing and enjoying. If I made it to Thailand, I would have conquered my childhood fear of flying. In the back of my mind, the entire way there, I thought, "This is how people die." What I mean by this is that I knew planes crashed, and people died. Leaving Thailand, I was struck with a different fear. "What if I never get home?" Somehow, this was more distressing than dying on my way there. This surprised me, because I was worried in the days before leaving for Thailand that something would prevent me from going. However, I got on the first plane, the second, the third and the fourth without a hitch. I wasn't concerned; it felt like a slow trek instead of an agonizing wait.
Coming back was an agonizing wait. The plane ride from Qatar to Dallas was longer, and the landing left my stomach in knots. The layover in Dallas was agonizingly long as I exhaustedly watched a few fortunate classmates board an earlier flight home. When it was finally my turn, our plane was delayed. We waited for what seemed like an hour, and then we boarded our plane. But, just like out of a T.V. informercial, "Wait, there's more!'' We were stuck, waiting for the plane to takeoff, and there was something wrong with an overhead compartment. We waited an hour for it to get taped and documented. By this point, my knees felt the familiar cramp of sitting in a tight space for too long. My seat-mates had to get up twice so I could use the bathroom. When the flight finally took off, we were still over 2 hours away from home. Out of all the plane rides that was the most agonizing.
I had a dream on the plane that we were stuck flying for hours, and like out of a Twilight Zone episode, we were cursed to wander the skies forever.
Watching my dad's car pull up to the curb, and seeing his familiar bearded face-- all of the anxiety and irritability vanished. All I wanted to talk about was Thailand. I wanted to stay up all night and show my mom pictures, and give my brother this stupid t-shirt with Hanson on it that said Nirvana.
People say flying is hell. I know now what that means.
I get asked, "What were the highs and the lows of Thailand." The only thing I want to say is "Thailand and flying."
Reading about my fears before this trip, I am glad that I see how much I have taken away from this trip. All of my anxieties were overcome, and I handled it far better than I thought I would. Anxiety is a huge problem for me as a person, and I am often paralyzed by it. But that was not who I was on this trip. The things that normally turn me inside out, left me feeling challenged and in the end--pretty liberated. I know flying was my biggest concern, and that has to be the funniest thing. Because, flying was the single most tedious and uneventful part of the trip.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Friday, January 27, 2017
Reflection
This trip was amazing! I haven't been home long enough to know the true impact it will have as I have not been able to fully digest all of the wonderful experiences. From the moment I landed to the moment I left there was a smile on my face. This trip made me feel the happiest I've been in a long time and that is due to the wonderful connections that were made. Everyone I met showed so much affection and warmth to me a complete stranger. While in Thailand I pick up a bunch of physical behaviors that seem very odd here. The hardest one to stop has been the bowing. I do it as a reflex when I greet someone or apologize to someone even as I am walking past people and make eye contact accidentally. The one change I have noticed in my behavior since being back in Minnesota is (even though I still have a creation level of sarcasm) I have been much more kind towards people.
When I look back at my first blog I have a completely different feeling about everything. I feel like I accomplished the two goals I set for myself. I have definitely brought back a sense of sa'nuk. Starfish is where I noticed how much of a grouch I can be. Letting those beautiful children change that was the best part of this trip. At the school being alone for a moment was not something they understood, I always had someone hanging on my hand or arm. I miss them so much, but I am so happy because I had the chance to get to know them. I wake up in the morning and different and I let that feeling radiates throughout my day. I have been smiling more and overall just been a bit more light hearted. I know at this point I'm not just coasting on sleep deprivation. These feelings are real.
I am going to travel. I will go back to Thailand and I will share it with the people I am closest to!
When I look back at my first blog I have a completely different feeling about everything. I feel like I accomplished the two goals I set for myself. I have definitely brought back a sense of sa'nuk. Starfish is where I noticed how much of a grouch I can be. Letting those beautiful children change that was the best part of this trip. At the school being alone for a moment was not something they understood, I always had someone hanging on my hand or arm. I miss them so much, but I am so happy because I had the chance to get to know them. I wake up in the morning and different and I let that feeling radiates throughout my day. I have been smiling more and overall just been a bit more light hearted. I know at this point I'm not just coasting on sleep deprivation. These feelings are real.
I am going to travel. I will go back to Thailand and I will share it with the people I am closest to!
Reflections
I've already been home for five days, but it isn't long enough to allow me to fully process all that I've experienced and what impact it has made on me. It was such an incredible experience, one that I will remember fondly for years to come. People keep asking me what my favorite part was, what I loved more than anything else. I don't have an answer for them, because there isn't any one thing that I can choose that stands out above the rest. It's everything. It was being with the kids. Riding the elephants. Snorkeling around the islands. Making the connections we did: with our class; with our professors; with the Starfish students and teachers; with our tour guides. I learned so much from being in Thailand - about the country, about the people, even a little about myself. Someone in our class said yesterday that the elders should be sat in the middle of the room so that everyone around them can hear the stories and lessons they have to tell. Maybe some day, I'll be the person in the middle of the room telling stories. I'm sure many of them will be about this trip. I'm glad to be home, but I'm already longing to go back and do it all over again.
Final Reflection of Thailand
Reading my pre-Thailand post brought back some of the feelings I completely forgot I had before coming on this trip. I remember being in such a panic. I had no idea what I was doing and I was the farthest thing from being prepared. I was worried about things like what to pack, getting sick on the airplane, something happening to my passport, working in a school with students who speak mainly a different language, and more. Pretty much any worry possible, I had it. The thing that amazes me is how quickly those worries faded. Once arriving in Thailand I felt completely different. I didn't know I could fall in love so quickly with a country other than my own, but that's exactly what Thailand did to me. The country itself changed my attitude to pure happiness while I was there. It's hard not be happy when surrounded by breathtaking scenery, beautiful temples, and genuinely kind and happy people. It truly was an adventure of a lifetime.
This trip has changed me in numerous ways. It has taught me to be more vulnerable. Putting so much emotion and energy into working with the kids, knowing we would have to leave, is a challenging thing to do. No one likes to get attached if it just ends in separation. These kids taught me that opening up like that, even if it's just going to result in pain or sadness, is good. In fact, it's life-changing--life-changing to be able to form beautiful bonds with people despite a language barrier. I hung out with a younger girl most of the time. She spoke very very little English, yet I felt this strong bond with her. She was so sweet and caring. Although we couldn't talk much, I felt comfort always having her there to hold my hand and show me where to go--cause I never actually knew what was going on. I enjoyed seeing her face light up with a smile whenever she saw me and having mine do the same when I saw her. I think that's one of the hardest parts about Thailand--leaving so many wonderful places and people behind.
It has also taught me that every situation has multiple perspectives and we need to consider this before making judgments and declaring that our view is the right one. To clarify, one thing that really has stuck with me is something our tour guide Lek said about elephant camps. He said that he didn't understand Westerners obsession with going to an elephant camp that does not put baskets on the elephants back (which can hurt their spines) and does not use bullhooks because we ride horses with saddles all the time and even whip them. I'm not saying that I agree with the mistreatment of elephants, but I just found it so interesting how blind we can be to problems in our own country but be so fast to point them out in others. This tiny conversation has affected me so much, making me want to look at all perspectives instead of automatically judging a situation.
After visiting Thailand, I would definitely say I got the travel bug (as Letitia would say). I want to see so much more of the world and thank Thailand for giving me this desire to explore. I'll miss it there so much, along with being with everyone in our group every day (it's already weird not seeing everyone).
It's been real, Thailand. Hope to see you again soon.
Emily
p.s. Sa'nuk and don't eat the salad.
This trip has changed me in numerous ways. It has taught me to be more vulnerable. Putting so much emotion and energy into working with the kids, knowing we would have to leave, is a challenging thing to do. No one likes to get attached if it just ends in separation. These kids taught me that opening up like that, even if it's just going to result in pain or sadness, is good. In fact, it's life-changing--life-changing to be able to form beautiful bonds with people despite a language barrier. I hung out with a younger girl most of the time. She spoke very very little English, yet I felt this strong bond with her. She was so sweet and caring. Although we couldn't talk much, I felt comfort always having her there to hold my hand and show me where to go--cause I never actually knew what was going on. I enjoyed seeing her face light up with a smile whenever she saw me and having mine do the same when I saw her. I think that's one of the hardest parts about Thailand--leaving so many wonderful places and people behind.
It has also taught me that every situation has multiple perspectives and we need to consider this before making judgments and declaring that our view is the right one. To clarify, one thing that really has stuck with me is something our tour guide Lek said about elephant camps. He said that he didn't understand Westerners obsession with going to an elephant camp that does not put baskets on the elephants back (which can hurt their spines) and does not use bullhooks because we ride horses with saddles all the time and even whip them. I'm not saying that I agree with the mistreatment of elephants, but I just found it so interesting how blind we can be to problems in our own country but be so fast to point them out in others. This tiny conversation has affected me so much, making me want to look at all perspectives instead of automatically judging a situation.
After visiting Thailand, I would definitely say I got the travel bug (as Letitia would say). I want to see so much more of the world and thank Thailand for giving me this desire to explore. I'll miss it there so much, along with being with everyone in our group every day (it's already weird not seeing everyone).
It's been real, Thailand. Hope to see you again soon.
Emily
p.s. Sa'nuk and don't eat the salad.
And So It Ends... (For Now)
At the beginning of this trip I was a nerves individual with my emotions flying everywhere. I was afraid to explore the world: a world that I can't wait to explore now!
I wish to do it all again! To see the elephants who took us on a ride of our lives, the Thai people who showed us how to treat others, and especially, the Starfish children (who stole my heart). These kids are special! Not only do they have a smile on their face but they always brought a smile on mine. The connections I made and the way my barrier fell down to these kids, brought some of the most happiest moments I've ever experienced. I am still in contact with my amazing friend, although her access to the internet is limited and our time differences are by 13 hours, we still manage to text each other (nights and mornings).
My biggest lesson in this trip was Mai Pen Rai (it's okay). Not only do I wish to incorporate this teaching in my family, but as a future teacher. I believe mai pen rai teaches us to be better human beings. It gives way for conversations, understanding, and peaceful resolutions.
I've learned so much in the two and half weeks I was in Thailand. I've learned about my place in the world (a place that I can choose to stay or change), that my actions affect others (small or big) and that I can make big changes in the world around me, understand that people aren't evil (there is just always another story) and that the world I live in is better served when I don't think for myself, but for others. I found another version of the person I am (one with a different take and perspective in life): I like this other version.
I wish to do it all again! To see the elephants who took us on a ride of our lives, the Thai people who showed us how to treat others, and especially, the Starfish children (who stole my heart). These kids are special! Not only do they have a smile on their face but they always brought a smile on mine. The connections I made and the way my barrier fell down to these kids, brought some of the most happiest moments I've ever experienced. I am still in contact with my amazing friend, although her access to the internet is limited and our time differences are by 13 hours, we still manage to text each other (nights and mornings).
My biggest lesson in this trip was Mai Pen Rai (it's okay). Not only do I wish to incorporate this teaching in my family, but as a future teacher. I believe mai pen rai teaches us to be better human beings. It gives way for conversations, understanding, and peaceful resolutions.
I've learned so much in the two and half weeks I was in Thailand. I've learned about my place in the world (a place that I can choose to stay or change), that my actions affect others (small or big) and that I can make big changes in the world around me, understand that people aren't evil (there is just always another story) and that the world I live in is better served when I don't think for myself, but for others. I found another version of the person I am (one with a different take and perspective in life): I like this other version.
Thailand Reflection
Here it is, a final wrap up of the Thailand trip. It still seems like just yesterday I was writing the first post with no idea what to expect and no clue of the memories I would gather in Thailand. Its always funny to see how some people can learn so much in just a matter of a couple weeks. This was the best J-term class I could have signed up for.
As I sit here at 6:00am recovering from jet lag, I remember all of the events we participated in and how I can never truly express my emotions to others. I will be able to share what we did but they will never really know what I saw. For now I will continue to share my experience to anyone with hopes they can understand how life changing this trip was for me.
This experience made me recognize the importance of opening up and how it can change the lives of others. While in Thailand we were college students who opened up to kids half our age who live on the other side of the world, and we became best friends. After just a couple days, students would practically fight to be around one of us, or to hold our hands. Students were always smiling and it spread to us. Whether big or small we were able to change the lives of every student in the school.
Together, the Thai culture it one that everyone should live by. It more people follow Sanuk and Mai Pen Rai we should have a more positive culture. It makes it easier to find the good in people rather than put blame towards others. I would love to see more people become accepting and welcoming of others rather than looking for the negatives right away.
Thank you everyone for making this trip perfect. You're all wonderful people and I can't wait so see all the great impacts you will make in the future.
Thanks again,
Keenan
Sanuk, and don't eat the salad.
As I sit here at 6:00am recovering from jet lag, I remember all of the events we participated in and how I can never truly express my emotions to others. I will be able to share what we did but they will never really know what I saw. For now I will continue to share my experience to anyone with hopes they can understand how life changing this trip was for me.
This experience made me recognize the importance of opening up and how it can change the lives of others. While in Thailand we were college students who opened up to kids half our age who live on the other side of the world, and we became best friends. After just a couple days, students would practically fight to be around one of us, or to hold our hands. Students were always smiling and it spread to us. Whether big or small we were able to change the lives of every student in the school.
Together, the Thai culture it one that everyone should live by. It more people follow Sanuk and Mai Pen Rai we should have a more positive culture. It makes it easier to find the good in people rather than put blame towards others. I would love to see more people become accepting and welcoming of others rather than looking for the negatives right away.
Thank you everyone for making this trip perfect. You're all wonderful people and I can't wait so see all the great impacts you will make in the future.
Thanks again,
Keenan
Sanuk, and don't eat the salad.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Final Reflection
Our final class time today was a joyous occasion. It was so great to see my classmates who I spent an amazing three weeks with. It has been strange coming back to the states and not seeing everyone. I realized how much I missed everyone once I saw them today. I hope our paths don't completely separate just because this trip is over.
Being back in Minnesota has been quite strange. The biggest change I've noted coming back to the US is how I show more affection to everyone I come across. Thailand has worked wonders in me. I'm not quick to anger and I definitely learned that from all of our gracious hosts in Thailand. I've also been hugging everyone?! I am NOT a hugger, but every time I've come across someone I know, I can't help but stretch out my arms and smother people with hugs :D.
I miss Thailand terribly. I miss the scenery, the people, the traffic, the food, the music, the dance, the smiles. It is all so contagious. I've constantly kept a Thai music playlist going on my Spotify, just because it makes me feel a little closer to that wonderful country.
I miss Pan the most. We try to talk everyday but I know she has limited access to internet while she is at Starfish. I think back of what I miss about her and it makes me smile. I miss her smile she flashed every time I walked into the room. I miss holding her hand to our every destination, even if it was just across the room. I miss discussing our love for Harry Potter. I miss her hugs and her love. I believe we were put in each other's lives for a reason. I needed her, but I didn't realize that until the day I met her. She has transformed me. I can see the change I have put into her as well. I remember the first day I saw her in the auditorium, she did not have a smile on her face and wasn't talking much to anyone. But even in that moment I felt that she was just like me. The love I have for my little sister is something I never thought would exist in my life. If you're ever reading this Pan, thank you for being yourself and opening up to me even though I was a complete stranger. I will always be here for you and continue loving you no matter where we are in our lives :)
I want to thank Leticia and Jesson for all their hard work they put into this trip. It was so perfectly planned I honestly don't know how you did it. You made this the trip of a lifetime for all of us. So thank you thank you thank you!
Until next time,
Jessica Birchmier
Being back in Minnesota has been quite strange. The biggest change I've noted coming back to the US is how I show more affection to everyone I come across. Thailand has worked wonders in me. I'm not quick to anger and I definitely learned that from all of our gracious hosts in Thailand. I've also been hugging everyone?! I am NOT a hugger, but every time I've come across someone I know, I can't help but stretch out my arms and smother people with hugs :D.
I miss Thailand terribly. I miss the scenery, the people, the traffic, the food, the music, the dance, the smiles. It is all so contagious. I've constantly kept a Thai music playlist going on my Spotify, just because it makes me feel a little closer to that wonderful country.
I miss Pan the most. We try to talk everyday but I know she has limited access to internet while she is at Starfish. I think back of what I miss about her and it makes me smile. I miss her smile she flashed every time I walked into the room. I miss holding her hand to our every destination, even if it was just across the room. I miss discussing our love for Harry Potter. I miss her hugs and her love. I believe we were put in each other's lives for a reason. I needed her, but I didn't realize that until the day I met her. She has transformed me. I can see the change I have put into her as well. I remember the first day I saw her in the auditorium, she did not have a smile on her face and wasn't talking much to anyone. But even in that moment I felt that she was just like me. The love I have for my little sister is something I never thought would exist in my life. If you're ever reading this Pan, thank you for being yourself and opening up to me even though I was a complete stranger. I will always be here for you and continue loving you no matter where we are in our lives :)
I want to thank Leticia and Jesson for all their hard work they put into this trip. It was so perfectly planned I honestly don't know how you did it. You made this the trip of a lifetime for all of us. So thank you thank you thank you!
Until next time,
Jessica Birchmier
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